1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:06,360 [soft music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 2 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:13,960 GHENT, BELGIUM 3 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:22,280 In the autumn of their lives, a group has gay and transgender artists… 4 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,120 …set himself the challenge… 5 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,520 …to tell their stories through of movement, without words. 6 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:33,440 They interact with directors through improvisation Alain Platel and Frank Van Laecke… 7 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,320 …created the show Gardenia. 8 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:40,400 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 9 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:25,920 [woman] I had no expectations at all... 10 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:30,160 …because I went to drama school always likes to improvise. 11 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:34,400 I don't put myself in anyone's shoes in Gardenia, I'm just me. 12 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,240 [man] Two and a half years together, with so many different characters… 13 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,680 What an incredible experience. 14 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:52,200 My motive was to throw everything away from me. 15 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,960 [man] I am 68 years old. I travel around the world… 16 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,800 …with a group of people who have a piece that has met with great success. 17 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,200 That does something to you, doesn't it? 18 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:10,080 After 200 shows in 25 countries the artists finally come home. 19 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:25,600 [slow, minimalist music: 'Somewhere over the rainbow'] 20 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:41,920 ♪ somewhere over the rainbow ♪ 21 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:46,920 ♪ way up high ♪ 22 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:54,400 ♪ there's a land that I heard of ♪ 23 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:59,160 ♪ once in a lullaby ♪ 24 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:04,080 ♪ someday I'll wish upon a star ♪ 25 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:11,160 ♪ and wake up where the clouds are far behind me ♪ 26 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:16,440 ♪ where troubles melt like lemon drops ♪ 27 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,520 ♪ away above the chimney tops ♪ 28 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:25,680 ♪ that's where you'll find me ♪ 29 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:32,040 ♪ somewhere over the rainbow ♪ 30 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:37,000 ♪ bluebirds fly ♪ 31 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:44,280 ♪ birds fly over the rainbow ♪ 32 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:49,400 ♪ why then, oh, why can't I? ♪ 33 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,960 [Frans] Morgen… 34 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:16,480 …zal het cabaret Gardenia er niet meer zijn. 35 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,840 Ladies and gentlemen… 36 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,840 …I would like to thank you, as a loyal audience. 37 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,600 I take this opportunity… 38 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:34,720 ...to show you this for the very last time to present… 39 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:39,760 ...this beautiful bunch of flowers. 40 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:47,360 And now a great artist… 41 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,200 …very big… 42 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,880 …especially when she spreads her legs. 43 00:06:54,520 --> 00:07:01,520 Her ass is like the central station: Open 24 hours a day. 44 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,240 Everyone has been there before. 45 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,800 The voluptuous… 46 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:12,120 …Gina Del Rio! 47 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,720 [Danilo, French] That was truly a great love, Gardenia. 48 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:27,120 The appreciation, the audience… That was a great love. 49 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:33,840 For me it was Gardenia the greatest gift of my life. 50 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,760 What a liberation. 51 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:02,440 [Danilo, French] When I was in prostitution started, it wasn't easy... 52 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:08,280 …but after a few days it was as normal as going to the office. 53 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,560 It was just a job, no problem. 54 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:22,240 The role of a prostitute is to be sexy. 55 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:28,320 I wore suspenders, high heels, a beautiful wig, beautiful makeup. 56 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,720 Then I looked like a real woman. 57 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,520 A good prostitute sells dreams. 58 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,919 It just depends how much the customer wants to pay. 59 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,720 Time is money, just like everywhere else. 60 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,840 Sometimes you can do the useful thing unite with the pleasant. 61 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,080 That has happened sometimes, yes. 62 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,880 Even with an ugly customer, a monster. 63 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:03,080 But I prefer: pay, fuck, goodbye, thanks, next. 64 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,840 There comes a time that you will feel dirty. 65 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:28,640 [slow, classical music: 'Without Answering' from 'Madame Butterfly'] 66 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:14,480 [music swells] 67 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:28,960 [music quiets down} 68 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:08,920 [music becomes sweet] 69 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:28,640 [music becomes more playful] 70 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:37,920 [music becomes romantic] 71 00:11:58,240 --> 00:11:59,760 [Andrea, French] Hey, hello. 72 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,360 How are you? How are you, honey? 73 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:16,080 Come on, jump on it. [laughs] 74 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:20,440 Good boy. Good boy, eh? 75 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:25,280 [babbles at the dog] 76 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:35,560 [dog panting and whining] 77 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,240 [Andrea] At some point we were asked... 78 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,240 …to bring a box… 79 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:17,680 …containing objects and photos from our lives. 80 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:24,640 Photos as a child, where I actually almost never got up smiling. 81 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,160 I thought that was very important. 82 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,400 What I liked most... 83 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,760 …was with a dress and oversized shoes coming down the stairs from my mother... 84 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,000 …with a coverlet turned over, like Sissi. 85 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:50,920 I have often asked my mother: "Can the doctor make me a girl?" 86 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,480 That didn't work, they said then, "That's not possible." 87 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,200 But you see: it is possible, right? 88 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:03,280 [slow, classical music] 89 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:11,760 [slow, classical music: 'Without 'Answering' from 'Madame Butterfly'] 90 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:21,000 [music becomes sweet] 91 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:40,880 [music swells] 92 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:50,280 [music quiets down] 93 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,800 [Vanessa] Wow, I was so beautiful. I was also proud of my body. 94 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:13,480 I was proud of that. Yes, nice. 95 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,640 And this too. Oh, Jesus. 96 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:26,640 Oh, the legs! They always talked about my legs. 97 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:29,880 And when I see that picture, then I understand why, of course. 98 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:37,480 I think about that with great pleasure back and some I still remember. 99 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:42,440 It was a very sexual period back then. [laughs] 100 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,960 I was active. I was active, yes. 101 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:50,920 [laughing] And now I would still be active want to be, but they no longer ring the doorbell. 102 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,400 So that's a shame. 103 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,440 I always leave the door open. Maybe it will happen. 104 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:04,840 That would be fantastic, wouldn't it? in the autumn of my life. 105 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,520 [peculiar music] 106 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,040 ♪ yes, yes, yes, yes ♪ 107 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:14,440 Oh. 108 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,080 [peculiar music] ♪ no, no, no, no ♪ 109 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:25,480 ♪ yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ♪ 110 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,080 ♪ no, no, no, no, no ♪ 111 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:39,640 ♪ yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ♪ 112 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:46,200 ♪ no, no, no, no, no, no ♪ 113 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,440 ♪ yes, yes, yes ♪ 114 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:03,240 ♪ no, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪ 115 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,599 ♪ yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ♪ 116 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:18,520 ♪ no, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪ 117 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:27,040 ♪ yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ♪ 118 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:34,240 ♪ no, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪ 119 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,840 ♪ yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ♪ 120 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:49,320 ♪ no, no, no, no, no, no ♪ 121 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:57,040 ♪ yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ♪ 122 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,200 ♪ no, no, no, no, no ♪ 123 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:10,880 ♪ yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ♪ 124 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:18,000 ♪ no, no, no, no, no, no ♪ 125 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:26,640 ♪ yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ♪ [music stops] 126 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:51,000 [man] What I dreamed of: I would have loved to be a fashion model. 127 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,400 But with a face like that, of course… 128 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,760 I still had a nose. 129 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:09,080 I sometimes say that I could read the newspaper in the shower without getting wet. 130 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,040 [laughs] 131 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,600 You have to do something like that cross it out of your dreams, right? 132 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:20,920 [whistles at bird] 133 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,560 Hello, little one. 134 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:29,640 [whistle] 135 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,840 Come on, say something. 136 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:38,440 I am not a transsexual. I'm gay from head to toe. 137 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:41,840 Yes, beep-beep. [whistle] 138 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,360 But I tried to hide that. 139 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:51,000 For example, on my bicycle wearing a singlet and jeans. 140 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,920 Well, it couldn't be more masculine, could it? 141 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,960 And I cycled consciously in high gear. 142 00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:02,520 [laughing] And not even ten meters further: "Hey, fagot!" 143 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,400 [laughs] So that. 144 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:13,440 I actually never have had a lot of trouble in that area. 145 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,480 But I am… 146 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:21,160 ...once or twice anyway ended up in hospital. 147 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,800 But you take that for granted, don't you? [laughs] 148 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,880 [male voice, Mandarin] What is today's soup? 149 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,280 [man, Mandarin] What is today's soup? 150 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:50,200 [voice, Mandarin] Can we order a bottle of wine? 151 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,000 Wome… [voice repeats sentence] 152 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,120 [repeats half a sentence in Mandarin] Oh-oh! 153 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,200 [Mandarin] I'm not on a diet. -[Mandarin] I'm not on a diet. 154 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,080 [Mandarin] I'm not on a diet. -[Mandarin] I'm not on a diet. 155 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,920 [voice, Mandarin] Is there a doctor who speaks Spanish? 156 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,840 Olala. That's difficult. 157 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,400 [voice, Mandarin] Is there a doctor who speaks Spanish? 158 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,360 [repeats beginning of sentence in Mandarin] Phew! 159 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,240 Good evening, it's me, Richard. -[voice] Come on in. 160 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,760 Thank you. 161 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:39,120 [beep of monitors, noise, baby crying] 162 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,640 Wait a minute. -You have to put it in there. 163 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:55,240 [babbles to baby] So, so. 164 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:11,000 [Richard] I couldn't have children of my own received, but I did have compensation. 165 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:22,880 Not only women can have children care, but men can do that too. 166 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:40,560 [monitor beeping] 167 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:54,160 [Richard] For example, I have had a baby once. 168 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:58,600 Really, that child was limp, deathly pale… 169 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,400 …and it groaned and stuff. 170 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,560 It had a high fever, red dots. 171 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:10,080 No doubt, I have the child taken from the mother's arms. 172 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,600 I said: Come, follow me. I ran to the emergency room. 173 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,200 And… 174 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:21,600 And when I got there, it was completely… completely black. 175 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:26,560 It was dead. So two minutes late. And… 176 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,840 Yes. I don't mind if you... 177 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:35,240 You want to do something, but you can't do anything. That's very bad. 178 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:37,880 But yes. 179 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,240 That's life. 180 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:49,760 [monitor beeping] 181 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:55,840 [soft music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 182 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:03,000 [Richard] Many children have died. 183 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:13,160 It was very hard work and I had to be able to change my mind. 184 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,360 That was possible with theatre. 185 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:26,200 Those shows have something for me had a bit of a healing effect. 186 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:35,080 If you have the whole week always experience nothing but misery... 187 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,680 …then you need an outlet. 188 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:43,760 [soft music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 189 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:09,680 [soft music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 190 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:36,040 [French] Now I'm going to make the greatest merit of Gardenia show. 191 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,000 Shampoo from Dublin. 192 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,440 Body lotion from Florence. 193 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,480 Every day I hid the soap, so I got new ones. [laughs] 194 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:03,960 I hid it from the chambermaid, then she would put down new ones every day. [laughs] 195 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,800 Like a curmudgeon. 196 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:08,840 Paris. 197 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,520 The flowers of Jean Paul Gaultier. 198 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:18,320 And I saw Jane Birkin in the foyer, at the premiere. 199 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,800 What special memories. 200 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:24,440 Fantastic, I can do it myself wash again for ten years. 201 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,680 Thanks to Gardenia. 202 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:36,560 [soft disco music] 203 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:45,000 [vacuum cleaner] 204 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:07,000 [soft disco music] 205 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,960 Phew! 206 00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:29,080 [French] I'm devastated. 207 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:33,200 Eight hours of cleaning, I've had it completely. 208 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,400 Finally. 209 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,920 What a relief. 210 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:41,880 [moans enjoying] 211 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:44,960 Really. 212 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:51,880 [soft, slow guitar music: 'Cucurrucucú paloma', footsteps] 213 00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:59,240 [soft, French] It's time for a cigarette. 214 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,480 [soft, English] It's time for a cigarette. 215 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:10,560 [soft, slow guitar music: 'Cucurrucucú paloma'] 216 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:17,240 ♪ dictate que por las noches ♪ 217 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:22,960 ♪ nomás se le iba en puro llorar ♪ 218 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:27,800 ♪ dicen que no comía ♪ 219 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:32,800 ♪ nomás se le iba en puro tomar ♪ 220 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:37,800 ♪ juran que el mismo cielo ♪ 221 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:43,600 ♪ he shook when he heard her cry ♪ 222 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:50,560 ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 223 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:55,600 ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 224 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:01,440 ♪ sang ♪ 225 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:07,080 ♪ of deadly passion ♪ 226 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:11,560 ♪ died ♪ 227 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,640 ♪ what a sad dove ♪ 228 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:26,520 ♪ very early in the morning he is going to sing to you ♪ 229 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:31,240 ♪ to the little house alone ♪ 230 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:36,320 ♪ with its little doors wide open ♪ 231 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:41,240 ♪ they swear that that dove ♪ 232 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:46,920 ♪ is nothing more than your soul ♪ 233 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:53,280 ♪ who is still waiting for her ♪ 234 00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:59,520 ♪ for the unfortunate woman to return ♪ 235 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:09,240 ♪ cucurrucucú ♪ 236 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:17,000 ♪ dove ♪ 237 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:22,480 ♪ cucurrucucú ♪ 238 00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:27,920 ♪ don't cry ♪ 239 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:35,440 [Gerrit] Naar mijn ervaring lopen mannen hun piemel achterna. 240 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,560 Ha. Ik heb niet so much respect for men. 241 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:48,680 I think it's all a bit macho stuff and otherwise meaningless. 242 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:58,000 Especially in terms of proportions and such, they don't look that closely. 243 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:03,240 They are quite loose. [laughs] 244 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,000 Because I already know it all. 245 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,360 I lived as a woman for 26 years. 246 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,520 [Gerrit] I was 18 years old, young and inexperienced. 247 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,520 A young boy, eh. 248 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,720 That's a photo with friends, in a cafe. 249 00:31:55,800 --> 00:32:00,600 Not bad. I was quite a handsome guy then. 250 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,080 But young people are always handsome. 251 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,360 This is where I started working at the cabaret, as a bartender. 252 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:13,960 And one evening they asked me to do a song too. 253 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:19,960 And I started… that with great enthusiasm. 254 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:25,680 This is where I started with striptease dancing. 255 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:28,360 [laugh] 256 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,680 A bit wooden. 257 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,960 A good striptease it's about the movements. 258 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,720 Show everything without showing anything. 259 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:41,920 But the result was not bad. That was okay. 260 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:49,080 And this is a year later. Then I completely changed. 261 00:32:56,280 --> 00:33:01,760 At that time hormones became available, so we all had breasts. 262 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,360 [laughs] 263 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,640 Breasts, at first. 264 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:17,280 One thing led to another and I left also wear women's clothing during the day. 265 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,440 That was the most normal thing in the world. 266 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:32,240 [English] I don't know whether I am homosexual, but otherwise... 267 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,440 [English] What is homosexual? Hey? 268 00:34:10,199 --> 00:34:16,199 [soft noise in the background] 269 00:34:24,639 --> 00:34:29,280 [Vanessa, English] On the first day so I put on men's clothing. 270 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,120 During rehearsals it was… Oh! 271 00:34:32,199 --> 00:34:36,199 I said: My goodness, it's been so long! 272 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:40,360 I started having flashbacks. I got flashbacks, really. 273 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:46,800 From when I was a 16-year-old boy and I still wore it. 274 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:51,199 That was… ooh, so long ago. 275 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:55,080 That's crazy, a crazy feeling. I didn't like it at all. 276 00:34:55,159 --> 00:34:59,040 Because I… I thought back to… 277 00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:04,760 …the time I struggled with my identity. 278 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:17,720 It's not right. Um, the photo is wrong. 279 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:21,720 It's me, I know, I was 12. 280 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:28,320 And I don't like to see that either because I know this… 281 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:33,640 …not the… not the real me for me. 282 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:39,560 My parents have to had a lot of sadness. 283 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,040 It must have been hard for them... 284 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:48,200 …to have a child with the deviation I had. 285 00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,800 That must have been difficult, yes. 286 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,520 I understand that. 287 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,520 [man, English] What was your name then? 288 00:35:56,600 --> 00:36:00,800 [English] Please don't, stop it. You shouldn't ask me that. 289 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:06,040 I don't like that and I like it It's also not nice to show those photos. 290 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,120 I don't like that, Thomas. 291 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:13,800 My life is different now so why would you ask that? 292 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,400 That's stupid! 293 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:18,240 Okay, my name was Jean-Pierre, so what?! 294 00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:24,600 That wasn't the case, so what does it add? to know and film that? 295 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:29,600 I hated that name and my sex and that was that. 296 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,880 So another question, please. 297 00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:40,160 [Andrea] Yes. 298 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:42,760 Ah, I'm glad I'm home. 299 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:51,080 [tap running] 300 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:52,840 Oh. 301 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,640 Come. Come here. Come, come here. 302 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:02,320 [Andrea] At some point I stood in front of the mirror at home. 303 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:06,960 And I said: or you still think life is important... 304 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:10,560 …and you cover up everything people say on your boot... 305 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,440 …or you grab a rope and you tie yourself up. 306 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:26,320 I went into the operating room as Julius Caesar and I came out looking like Cleopatra. 307 00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:31,400 When I was 45, I had surgery. 308 00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,440 And I now live as a woman. Even if I only live to be 60… 309 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:41,280 ...then I have lived 15 years the way I wanted to live. 310 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:47,920 [organ music] 311 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:54,800 Many people do not want anything after their operation have more to do with their past. 312 00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:56,840 I think that's wrong. 313 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,640 You can't just do those 45 years throw in the trash. 314 00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:07,360 [organ music] 315 00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:16,360 Oh, what a wet nose you have. 316 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:18,680 Hm? 317 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:42,520 [Gerrit] People really can't do it anymore against that piece hanging there. 318 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:43,960 I didn't have that. 319 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,400 I wasn't disgusted with myself or anything. 320 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,080 I look like two peas in a pod here on my mother when she was the same age. 321 00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:01,800 That's why it has something special. 322 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,440 When I was about 18… 323 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:09,600 …she took me aside and she said she knew it all along. 324 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:14,160 She knew since I was seven years old that I wasn't like other boys. 325 00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:16,080 I didn't know, she did. 326 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,160 She said: 'Do what you want with your life... 327 00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:24,520 …but I don't want to that makes you cut your body.' 328 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,840 That's why I never had surgery. 329 00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:03,760 [Vanessa, English] She really feels and responds… 330 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:06,840 …and thinks like a woman. 331 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,920 Complete. 332 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,360 In the body of a man, and that must be terrible. 333 00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:16,760 I can't understand it. 334 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:23,600 When I see how I am then I think: Damn! 335 00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:29,120 Why didn't you do it? Why haven't you done the same as me? 336 00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,200 Come on now, it could be possible. 337 00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:35,720 And her defense is: "I promised my mother." 338 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,640 I also promised my mother... 339 00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:43,240 …but I did it anyway, because I had to. I had to. 340 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:51,560 [Gerrit] Are you okay, girl? -Yes. Look, my glasses. [laughs] 341 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,920 But thanks for everything anyway. -Don't mention it. 342 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,200 [Vanessa] I was 27. 343 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:06,080 There was a doctor in Casablanca, Doctor Burou. 344 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:09,880 That was a gynecologist and he did those operations. 345 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:15,240 But you had no address, you only knew: Clinique du Parc was the name. 346 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:23,720 You took the plane without calling without announcement, nothing. 347 00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,200 And you took cash with you. 348 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:34,240 And I remember that I I entered that operating room. 349 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:38,680 I didn't know if there an anesthetist was present. 350 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:45,560 [laughs] Very dangerous, of course. 351 00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:48,960 But… I know I… 352 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:55,120 …the next morning… woke up… 353 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:59,600 …and my first thought was: finally. 354 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:01,680 Finally. 355 00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,640 [Andrea] A real woman. 356 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,920 When are you a real woman? 357 00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:23,800 I feel like a real woman, but I don't know if I'm a real woman. 358 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:29,280 You have to discover that toy, right? [laughs] 359 00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,640 At first you have no feeling. 360 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:37,360 So the first days you have to build that up. 361 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:41,880 For example, the first time… 362 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,160 The hole was there. 363 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,040 But how should you start? 364 00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:52,640 And we started investigating and experimented. 365 00:42:52,720 --> 00:42:57,760 And I remember well: the first one penetration he did, I said 'Ah!' 366 00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:02,320 He said, 'Does it hurt?' I said, 'No, keep going.' [laughs] 367 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:08,880 [upbeat, combative music: 'Bella Ciao'] 368 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,760 [Andrea] As a man, I used to be very insecure. 369 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:46,880 And now, as a woman, I have a lot, gained much more self-confidence. 370 00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:51,400 [upbeat, combative music: 'Bella Ciao'] 371 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:55,360 [Andrea] The elections are coming, I participate in that. 372 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:59,880 I hope to join my red friends to get a seat. 373 00:43:59,960 --> 00:44:04,960 [upbeat, combative music: 'Bella Ciao'] 374 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:07,960 [doorbell] 375 00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:15,600 [doorbells] 376 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:24,040 [upbeat, combative music: 'Bella Ciao'] 377 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,640 Good day. -Good evening, madam. 378 00:44:27,720 --> 00:44:31,320 The elections are tomorrow. We're here to deliver our flyer. 379 00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:35,720 Fine. -We want to improve the sidewalks… 380 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:40,280 ...because they are in bad shape. -Yes. That's very nice. 381 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,920 Do you live in Niel yourself? -I actually live down the street from here. 382 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:48,640 Oh, that's very good. -One of the neighbors is also on it. 383 00:44:48,720 --> 00:44:52,080 Who should I vote for then? -Andrea De Laet. 384 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,320 The second on the list. -Andrea De Laet, second. 385 00:44:55,400 --> 00:45:00,040 [upbeat, combative music: 'Bella Ciao'] 386 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:25,040 [Vanessa] After my operation I thought: oh, all doors will open for me. 387 00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:28,760 But all doors close. 388 00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:37,560 Because you were completely excluded by society, totally. 389 00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:41,760 Back then it was something like… You were a monster. 390 00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:46,480 A beautiful, good-looking monster, just a monster. 391 00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:48,960 And you had no place in society. 392 00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:52,760 But you had to find the money to pay for all those operations. 393 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:55,600 That is no longer necessary, but then it was. 394 00:45:56,480 --> 00:46:02,680 I had to descend into the catacombs of window prostitution. 395 00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:08,960 And I thought, okay, this is for a while. 396 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,320 And 'even' was thirteen years old. 397 00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:13,760 Thirteen years. 398 00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,640 Thirteen, yes. 399 00:46:16,720 --> 00:46:21,520 Hmm! But I came back. I came back, back in the theater. 400 00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:28,160 [slow, minimalist music] 401 00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:37,080 [no speech, slow music] 402 00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:48,000 [no speech, slow music] 403 00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:12,200 [slow music] 404 00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:26,040 [soft noise, panting] 405 00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:32,440 [man] I have enormous admiration for my colleagues in the cast. 406 00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:37,840 Richard for example, that's not problem, that boy will come right out of the closet. 407 00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:44,440 I dare... That's still not for me. 408 00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:05,400 Being homosexual has just causes me anxiety. 409 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,800 Fear from within myself. 410 00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:12,600 Fear of… I was afraid of being different. 411 00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:19,600 I was working during that period at the ministry, so oops. 412 00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:24,800 If they had found out, I would have been fired immediately. 413 00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:36,000 For example, I have I've been completely silent all my life, completely. 414 00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:56,600 That belonged to my father. 415 00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:59,480 70 years old. 416 00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,680 I had seen it as a child. 417 00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:08,320 I always wondered: is that a book or not? But I wasn't allowed to touch it. 418 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:15,000 When I was about 12 years old, my... mother: 'I'll show you what's inside.' 419 00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:18,360 And it is very special. 420 00:50:19,240 --> 00:50:20,720 It'll open soon. 421 00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,240 And there were photos in there… 422 00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:54,760 …that my father took when he was imprisoned during the war. 423 00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,920 When you see what they done to homosexual Jews... 424 00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:06,080 Especially since I was born in during the war years, this is a great fear. 425 00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:26,400 I still do in Gardenia something that is not allowed or is not possible. 426 00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:32,600 I'm really standing there a little anxious about it. 427 00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:44,680 I have in all my life had three steady friends so far. 428 00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:47,560 One has died, another hanged himself. 429 00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,840 It has always ended dramatically. 430 00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:56,840 And if I have to start doing that now... 431 00:51:57,680 --> 00:51:59,360 I lack courage. 432 00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:08,960 [ticking of clock] 433 00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:11,240 I sit alone at home. 434 00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:15,080 I'm starting to talk to myself here. 435 00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:20,360 [man] ♪ den Silbertönen ♪ 436 00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:28,080 ♪ jedes weiche Herz ♪ 437 00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:35,960 ♪ jedes weiche ♪ 438 00:52:37,720 --> 00:52:40,920 ♪ Rev ♪ 439 00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,280 Hmm… 440 00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:47,600 [man] That's something I constantly see I think about when I can't sleep: 441 00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:51,000 How long would it take before they find me? 442 00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:55,040 One day? Two days? Eight days? 443 00:52:55,120 --> 00:53:01,120 [ticking of clock] 444 00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:07,160 After a few days? 445 00:53:07,240 --> 00:53:12,320 But how long would it take before they break down the door and find me? 446 00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:16,640 I think about that regularly and I think that's terrible. 447 00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:23,480 Acquaintances of mine will certainly have no trouble to arrange my funeral. 448 00:53:24,240 --> 00:53:29,000 There is already a nice script there ready for. The music has already been chosen. 449 00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:36,400 [solemn music] 450 00:53:44,240 --> 00:53:49,320 [man] I'm actually, God, yeah… afraid of death. 451 00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:55,400 [solemn music] 452 00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:11,120 [classical chant] 453 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:17,200 [solemn music, classical chant] 454 00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:32,400 I actually really like black. The blacker, the better. 455 00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:42,200 [Richard] I'm running errands and I'm standing in front of the vegetable department. 456 00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:46,760 And there is still one white cabbage. 457 00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:50,600 And I wanted to grab it and at the same time… 458 00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:55,480 …someone else also grabs that cauliflower. 459 00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:07,520 And I look into his eyes and I was completely devastated. 460 00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:14,120 And it was Chinese. 461 00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:18,960 [Richard] And where I actually shouldn't have any of that, are Chinese. 462 00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:21,520 On this side… 463 00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:25,520 Is it finished? -Yes. This side is a bit… 464 00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:29,440 Yes, that would be better. -A little… 465 00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:30,920 Yes. 466 00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:35,040 At the top… Let's see, this right here. 467 00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:36,640 Yes. 468 00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:41,720 [humming] Yeah, okay, that's good. 469 00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:44,720 Yes? -Yes, that feels much better. 470 00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:47,200 Thank you, honey. [kissing sound] 471 00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:50,760 [Chinese man] Are you making tea? -Yes. 472 00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:55,440 But is this how it should be? -No. You have… 473 00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:58,800 Now it sinks to the bottom. -Yes. 474 00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:01,120 First put the tea in it and then the water. 475 00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:03,960 And then water on it? -Then water, then it's fine. 476 00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:07,400 But normally the tea has to be added first? -First the tea. 477 00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:10,280 And then pour boiling water on it? -Yes. Okay. 478 00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:13,200 Of course I did that wrong, but yes. 479 00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:17,520 [Richard] When I was young, pff, gee… 480 00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:21,280 Huh. To put it bluntly: 481 00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:25,600 I fucked like my life depended on it. [laughs] 482 00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:33,200 Please. -Thank you. 483 00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:38,680 [Richard] I don't need it anymore to ride a crooked skate. 484 00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:41,480 First R… -Yes. 485 00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:43,520 And then like that. 486 00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:46,560 And then like that. 487 00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:52,120 [Richard] For me he is really my soulmate, really. 488 00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:53,880 And then to the right, like this. 489 00:59:54,480 --> 01:00:00,440 But that guy does it, really, now to all my desires. 490 01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:04,040 And I hope for him too, conversely. [laughs] 491 01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:09,360 [Richard, Mandarin] Him and his stupid… 492 01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:11,040 [man, Mandarin] Son. -Stupid. 493 01:00:11,920 --> 01:00:14,160 [Mandarin] Son, son. 494 01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:15,760 [Mandarin] Stupid, stupid. 495 01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:19,960 [Mandarin] No, son, z… Z… -[Mandarin] D… D… 496 01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:22,400 [Mandarin] Son. -[Mandarin] Stupid. 497 01:00:22,480 --> 01:00:26,360 [Mandarin] Son. [laughter] 498 01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:31,800 And what do you think of my Chinese speech? 499 01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:33,760 From my…? Yes. 500 01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:38,680 Do you want me to speak Chinese with you? -From my Chinese? 501 01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:45,240 It is difficult to speak Chinese. But okay. 502 01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:51,560 Um… [Mandarin] Have you eaten today? 503 01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,680 [repeats muttering] 504 01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:59,280 Um, today… [repeats muttering] 505 01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:02,160 Um… 506 01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:10,760 [Mandarin] Son, son. -[Mandarin] Stupid, stupid. 507 01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:12,960 [Mandarin] Son. -[Mandarin] Stupid. 508 01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:19,040 Oh. 509 01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:25,240 [French] True love? Mamma mia! In this area? Mamma mia! 510 01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:30,720 That's a difficult question. 511 01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:47,080 [Danilo, French] You always need your client to present a certain illusion. 512 01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:52,320 To get the most money, you have to play the game. 513 01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:55,400 But eventually I just didn't care. 514 01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:02,160 Men also come because they are alone and have no one to love. 515 01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:04,800 They think they will find love with us. 516 01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:09,840 Ultimately, they search the same as everyone else: love. 517 01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:14,240 It's always the same problem. 518 01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:16,920 Love, always love. 519 01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:23,880 [squeaking phone keys] 520 01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:27,160 Yes, Ashref, with me. 521 01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:32,720 We're having dinner at seven o'clock, right? Don't forget. Thank you, bye. 522 01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:41,000 [French] I am in a relationship with a man who was married and has a daughter. 523 01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:46,440 We see each other once every two weeks, because he has joint custody. 524 01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:50,360 That is not always easy. We have high peaks and deep valleys. 525 01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:53,440 Because of Gardenia's tour we haven't been together much... 526 01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:57,880 …and that creates tensions in our relationship. 527 01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:05,320 Life is a shit sandwich and you take a bite every day, darling. 528 01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:10,480 It's my own fault that I... married man with child. 529 01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:13,240 Now I have to live with the consequences. 530 01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:15,680 But I love it. 531 01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:23,080 It gives a little color to my life. I love that. 532 01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:27,760 That bickering: “No, I love you.” 533 01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:30,400 But then the misery. 534 01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:32,120 Such is life. 535 01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:46,800 [Danilo, French] I never believed in true love between homosexuals. 536 01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:55,160 My relationship with my father? 537 01:03:56,680 --> 01:03:58,440 There wasn't one. 538 01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:01,800 I always have a great distance from him felt. 539 01:04:02,520 --> 01:04:05,120 He hit me once when I was little. 540 01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:10,120 On that day he was done for me. 541 01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:13,320 I said he was a dirty bastard, to hit me like that. 542 01:04:13,400 --> 01:04:15,840 I spat in his face. 543 01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:17,440 When he died… 544 01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:19,760 …I didn't feel anything. 545 01:04:20,760 --> 01:04:23,920 Just a random dead person oh yes. 546 01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:29,920 But I love my mother. 547 01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:34,080 That's the most important. Until the very last day. 548 01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:39,640 She's ten years ago gone from me. I miss her. 549 01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:43,760 I talk to her as if she were in the room and looks at me from the wall. 550 01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:45,840 She's talking to me. 551 01:04:51,720 --> 01:04:54,320 She still protects me. 552 01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:56,240 I'm sure. 553 01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:04,880 But I was never given any freedom from my mother. 554 01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:09,880 Everything I wanted to do was too dangerous. I wasn't allowed anything. 555 01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:16,920 She literally watched over me, like a chicken about her chick. 556 01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:26,880 I think it's to blame from my mother that I am gay. 557 01:05:27,720 --> 01:05:33,720 [soft music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 558 01:05:46,320 --> 01:05:49,720 [Danilo, French] We always look for love no matter what. 559 01:05:51,160 --> 01:05:55,920 What happens to three quarters of the gays? They end up alone. 560 01:05:56,560 --> 01:06:00,840 They don't stay together for the rest of their lives. 561 01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:06,320 I think that's the melancholy which emerges in Gardenia. 562 01:06:06,400 --> 01:06:08,960 That's the life we ​​live. 563 01:06:10,360 --> 01:06:12,280 We have no choice. 564 01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:19,200 [soft music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 565 01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:32,480 [soft hum] 566 01:06:42,080 --> 01:06:46,160 [voice] Ladies and gentlemen, 30 minutes until the performance. 567 01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:53,320 [Gerrit] My last relationship came at one point at home and he said: 568 01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:57,720 I want to start something with a woman, because I can't have children with you. 569 01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:01,320 And then I got so angry. 570 01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:05,880 If you start living with a man, you know there are no children coming, right? 571 01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:10,520 You send for the locksmith, have the lock replaced... 572 01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:15,440 ...and you'll be done with it in no time! [laughs] 573 01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:17,520 Simple, but powerful. 574 01:07:20,480 --> 01:07:24,760 [Gerrit] Then I said: 'Never again. I stay alone.' 575 01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:31,560 I have lived alone for 38 years. 576 01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:54,000 [Andrea] Sometimes people ask: "Don't you feel like having a relationship?" 577 01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:56,680 Then I always say: 'I have a good relationship. 578 01:07:57,720 --> 01:07:59,760 Just not sexual ones.' 579 01:08:01,040 --> 01:08:04,760 Because he can look at me like that sometimes that I think: 580 01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:10,840 How do you know me from? From the past or something? Are you the reincarnation of someone? 581 01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:12,920 Sometimes I doubt that. 582 01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:15,840 Hey? 583 01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:18,760 You love being with your owner so much. 584 01:08:19,840 --> 01:08:23,240 [French] Come, give me a kiss, here. Come. 585 01:08:23,319 --> 01:08:25,920 What, no kiss? Are you angry? 586 01:08:34,399 --> 01:08:38,840 [voice] Ladies and gentlemen, another 15 minutes until the performance. 587 01:08:48,120 --> 01:08:52,920 [Vanessa] Then if you're like this, Do you have weapons against men? 588 01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:57,399 With a snap of the fingers of course you could seduce a man. 589 01:08:58,080 --> 01:09:02,760 You saw that those men wanted you of course and wanted sex with you. 590 01:09:02,840 --> 01:09:09,399 And now you are that woman and that gave a huge kick. 591 01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:15,680 That was…flattering. 592 01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:21,319 But after that prostitution are you looking for love? 593 01:09:23,359 --> 01:09:25,399 And still. 594 01:09:27,600 --> 01:09:30,640 Of course I lied to myself. 595 01:09:31,720 --> 01:09:36,399 Because you are in love, because then you see everything twisted. 596 01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:41,399 [English] I drove 1000 kilometers… 597 01:09:42,120 --> 01:09:45,720 …to spend one night with him. 598 01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:48,640 And the next day I drove 1000 kilometers home again. 599 01:09:48,720 --> 01:09:51,680 So I rode 2000 kilometers for him. 600 01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:54,800 I have no regrets. 601 01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:58,080 I don't regret it what I did for love. 602 01:09:59,240 --> 01:10:02,720 And then they gave you an answer, or they didn't. [laughs] 603 01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:06,120 And sometimes the answer is a lie. 604 01:10:06,880 --> 01:10:10,840 Then they said: Of course I love you. [French] Of course. 605 01:10:10,920 --> 01:10:15,040 [English] And then you saw in their eyes: you are lying. 606 01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:20,520 But… sometimes you accept those lies. 607 01:10:22,160 --> 01:10:26,200 [Vanessa] Men loved me, but men were passers-by. 608 01:10:26,280 --> 01:10:30,200 They came and went. They didn't stay. 609 01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:34,680 And they loved your body. 610 01:10:37,080 --> 01:10:41,240 I don't think they loved me but of my body. 611 01:10:49,360 --> 01:10:53,440 [Vanessa] It's not easy to give in to it, to growing older. 612 01:10:54,040 --> 01:10:55,520 Five more? 613 01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:59,720 [Vanessa] Gardenia is about… being passé… 614 01:10:59,800 --> 01:11:01,960 …getting old and getting older. 615 01:11:02,040 --> 01:11:03,720 Are we complete? 616 01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:05,880 [Vanessa] And still want to be loved. 617 01:11:10,560 --> 01:11:11,880 Yes, we are ready. 618 01:11:17,440 --> 01:11:20,160 [Vanessa] Ladies and gentlemen, this is it. 619 01:11:21,120 --> 01:11:25,480 I really want you thank you from the bottom of my heart. 620 01:11:25,560 --> 01:11:27,880 And I'm so proud of you. 621 01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:32,320 Because you guys are fucking great! 622 01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:37,840 So later, during our 'Boléro': be beautiful, be proud and great. 623 01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:41,760 Let's get it all out what can be extracted from it. 624 01:11:41,840 --> 01:11:46,520 Have fun. See you, babies. Thanks for everything. 625 01:11:46,600 --> 01:11:49,480 'Boléro, Boléro, Boléro'. -Toitoitoi. 626 01:11:55,760 --> 01:12:01,760 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 627 01:13:38,920 --> 01:13:40,480 [Richard] He has a son. 628 01:13:40,560 --> 01:13:45,080 That son is at some point came here. 629 01:13:48,200 --> 01:13:51,000 I think he introduced me... 630 01:13:51,080 --> 01:13:55,800 …as just a business friend. Yes. 631 01:13:58,440 --> 01:14:04,480 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 632 01:14:04,560 --> 01:14:06,160 Day. 633 01:14:06,240 --> 01:14:08,960 Day. Bye-bye. -Ciao. Bye-bye. 634 01:14:11,240 --> 01:14:17,240 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 635 01:14:26,040 --> 01:14:30,080 [Richard] And he found that again had to live alone... 636 01:14:30,160 --> 01:14:35,240 …to raise that son, to give him the right values. 637 01:14:35,840 --> 01:14:38,840 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 638 01:14:38,920 --> 01:14:41,800 [Richard] I miss my cuddles at night. 639 01:14:44,760 --> 01:14:47,880 In how many songs it is not sung: 640 01:14:47,960 --> 01:14:52,000 If you love someone, you have to let him go. That. 641 01:14:52,720 --> 01:14:54,120 Yes. 642 01:14:57,240 --> 01:15:02,240 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 643 01:15:03,840 --> 01:15:09,840 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel, applause, cheering] 644 01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:26,800 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 645 01:15:37,960 --> 01:15:42,240 [Danilo, French] It is at our age not so easy to find love. 646 01:15:48,440 --> 01:15:50,720 You have to accept that. 647 01:15:50,800 --> 01:15:53,120 You have to make concessions. 648 01:15:56,160 --> 01:15:58,520 You get nothing for nothing. 649 01:16:01,480 --> 01:16:07,480 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 650 01:16:15,920 --> 01:16:19,080 [Danilo, French] Sometimes you have to give a present, clothes or something. 651 01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:22,640 To keep the fire burning. 652 01:16:23,280 --> 01:16:27,440 Because what he says to me is not true. It's not about my beautiful eyes. 653 01:16:29,840 --> 01:16:33,400 That is very normal. I think so not at all embarrassing or shocking. 654 01:16:34,080 --> 01:16:38,080 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 655 01:16:39,880 --> 01:16:43,240 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 656 01:16:43,320 --> 01:16:46,200 [Danilo, French] It would be wonderful to find love. 657 01:16:49,160 --> 01:16:51,560 As my grande finale of Gardenia. 658 01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:56,240 [voice, German and English] Ladies and gentlemen, We proudly present you: 659 01:16:56,320 --> 01:16:58,240 Liza Minnelli. 660 01:16:58,320 --> 01:17:01,880 [applause, whistling] 661 01:17:01,960 --> 01:17:07,960 [voice, French] Oh! You, slut! [applause] 662 01:17:11,800 --> 01:17:14,320 [female voice, English] Thank you very much. 663 01:17:14,400 --> 01:17:18,680 Really, this is… This is extraordinary. 664 01:17:19,400 --> 01:17:25,400 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 665 01:17:59,600 --> 01:18:02,280 [male] I never thought I would do it. 666 01:18:04,800 --> 01:18:07,240 In the long run you are convinced, it attracts you. 667 01:18:07,320 --> 01:18:10,120 You think: it brings me something, that's good. 668 01:18:21,920 --> 01:18:27,120 [man] And then of course you have something to worry about which is no longer acting. 669 01:18:35,200 --> 01:18:38,560 [male] Those 2.5 years have been fantastic. 670 01:18:38,640 --> 01:18:41,160 That was therapeutic, unbelievable. 671 01:18:42,760 --> 01:18:48,760 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 672 01:18:51,720 --> 01:18:54,800 [laughs on stage] 673 01:18:54,880 --> 01:19:00,880 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 674 01:19:24,080 --> 01:19:27,440 [voice on TV] Now in Niel, a municipality near Boom… 675 01:19:27,520 --> 01:19:31,800 ...a party found something about it, there are three women standing there. 676 01:19:31,880 --> 01:19:33,280 [Andrea] Yes. 677 01:19:35,560 --> 01:19:40,800 We are getting one step closer. You're voting for me too, aren't you? Yes, I know. 678 01:19:40,880 --> 01:19:46,880 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 679 01:20:00,480 --> 01:20:02,880 [male voice, English] Aren't you Norma Desmond? 680 01:20:02,960 --> 01:20:07,160 You used to act in movies. You were a great person. 681 01:20:10,680 --> 01:20:12,720 [female voice, English] I am a great person. 682 01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:15,520 It is the films that have become small. 683 01:20:15,600 --> 01:20:20,920 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 684 01:20:43,840 --> 01:20:47,080 [Gerrit] When I stopped at the cabaret, so I had to look for another job. 685 01:20:53,360 --> 01:20:56,240 Transvestites were not welcome everywhere. 686 01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:59,600 So I started dressing as a man again. 687 01:21:00,440 --> 01:21:05,440 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 688 01:21:07,560 --> 01:21:09,600 [Gerrit] I hated it. 689 01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:12,560 I didn't feel good about myself. 690 01:21:12,640 --> 01:21:17,640 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 691 01:21:21,320 --> 01:21:25,400 [Gerrit] But that has passed. That has gotten better over time. 692 01:21:27,760 --> 01:21:33,760 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 693 01:21:38,760 --> 01:21:44,000 [Gerrit] I have come to understand that it doesn't matter how you dress. 694 01:21:46,200 --> 01:21:48,720 You remain the same internally. 695 01:21:50,360 --> 01:21:56,360 [music: 'Boléro' by Ravel] 696 01:23:08,800 --> 01:23:12,800 [climax music and final chord] 697 01:23:14,800 --> 01:23:20,800 [applause, cheering] 698 01:23:36,160 --> 01:23:39,040 [music: 'Somewhere over the Rainbow'] [woman, English] Come on! 699 01:23:39,120 --> 01:23:41,720 [woman, English] Good. ♪ that I heard of ♪ 700 01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:46,560 ♪ once in a lullaby ♪ 701 01:23:48,720 --> 01:23:55,640 ♪ somewhere over the rainbow ♪ 702 01:23:56,400 --> 01:24:00,080 ♪ skies are blue ♪ 703 01:24:00,160 --> 01:24:02,240 [woman, English] Come on, sing along! 704 01:24:03,040 --> 01:24:06,600 ♪ and the dreams ♪ 705 01:24:06,680 --> 01:24:10,280 ♪ that you dare to dream ♪ 706 01:24:10,360 --> 01:24:13,760 ♪ really do come true ♪ 707 01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:15,080 [woman, English] Sing along. 708 01:24:15,840 --> 01:24:19,240 ♪ someday I'll wish upon a star ♪ -[woman, English] Good. 709 01:24:19,320 --> 01:24:25,560 ♪ and wake up where the clouds are far behind me ♪ 710 01:24:25,640 --> 01:24:28,160 [cries] [woman, English] Good. 711 01:24:29,240 --> 01:24:33,720 Andrea still wants the next one become mayor of her hometown. 712 01:24:41,360 --> 01:24:46,040 Rudy just turned 70 and plays a mayor in a musical. 713 01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:52,600 [voice of Mandarin course, Richard mumbles along] 714 01:24:56,640 --> 01:24:58,840 Richard is working on his Mandarin. 715 01:24:58,920 --> 01:25:02,200 He wants Yong Li comes to live with him again someday. 716 01:25:05,680 --> 01:25:07,120 [deep sigh] 717 01:25:10,160 --> 01:25:14,120 Vanessa tours with her one-woman show, "Look mom, I'm dancing." 718 01:25:14,200 --> 01:25:15,920 This one is about her childhood. 719 01:25:23,320 --> 01:25:24,920 Danilo still cleans in a brothel. 720 01:25:25,000 --> 01:25:27,400 He dreams of a new world tour with Gardenia. 721 01:25:34,800 --> 01:25:38,680 Gerrit still refurbishes old furniture in woont alleen. 722 01:25:44,440 --> 01:25:45,440 Zo. 723 01:25:45,520 --> 01:25:51,080 Rudy in Richard Zijn de beste vrienden geworden. 724 01:25:51,160 --> 01:25:54,680 In schoolfoto's op. -Ha. [gelach] 725 01:25:54,760 --> 01:26:00,760 [zachte, langzame gitaarmuziek: 'Cucurrucucú dove'] 726 01:26:10,040 --> 01:26:14,200 ♪ they say that at night ♪ 727 01:26:14,280 --> 01:26:20,280 ♪ he just started crying ♪ 728 01:26:20,360 --> 01:26:24,760 ♪ They say he didn't eat ♪ 729 01:26:24,840 --> 01:26:29,760 ♪ he was just drinking ♪ 730 01:26:30,800 --> 01:26:34,760 ♪ they swear that the sky itself ♪ 731 01:26:34,840 --> 01:26:40,520 ♪ he shook when he heard her cry ♪ 732 01:26:43,760 --> 01:26:47,440 ♪ how he suffered for her ♪ 733 01:26:47,520 --> 01:26:52,760 ♪ that even in his death he was calling her ♪ 734 01:26:56,520 --> 01:27:03,520 ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 735 01:27:07,920 --> 01:27:10,960 ♪ sang ♪ 736 01:27:11,600 --> 01:27:17,240 ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 737 01:27:17,320 --> 01:27:21,160 ♪ moaned ♪ 738 01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:29,640 ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 739 01:27:29,720 --> 01:27:35,000 ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 740 01:27:37,280 --> 01:27:40,800 ♪ sang ♪ 741 01:27:40,880 --> 01:27:46,720 ♪ of deadly passion ♪ 742 01:27:46,800 --> 01:27:50,800 ♪ died ♪ 743 01:27:57,200 --> 01:28:00,960 ♪ what a sad dove ♪ 744 01:28:01,040 --> 01:28:05,840 ♪ very early in the morning he is going to sing to you ♪ 745 01:28:07,160 --> 01:28:10,520 ♪ to the little house alone ♪ 746 01:28:10,600 --> 01:28:15,680 ♪ with its little doors wide open ♪ 747 01:28:16,680 --> 01:28:20,520 ♪ they swear that that dove ♪ 748 01:28:20,600 --> 01:28:26,000 ♪ is nothing more than your soul ♪ 749 01:28:28,840 --> 01:28:32,600 ♪ who is still waiting for her ♪ 750 01:28:32,680 --> 01:28:38,480 ♪ for the unfortunate woman to return ♪ 751 01:28:41,520 --> 01:28:48,520 ♪ cucurrucucú ♪ 752 01:28:52,760 --> 01:28:56,200 ♪ dove ♪ 753 01:28:56,280 --> 01:29:01,720 ♪ cucurrucucú ♪ 754 01:29:01,800 --> 01:29:07,200 ♪ don't cry ♪ 755 01:29:10,360 --> 01:29:17,360 ♪ stones never ♪ 756 01:29:21,400 --> 01:29:24,840 ♪ dove ♪ 757 01:29:24,920 --> 01:29:30,600 ♪ what will they know ♪ 758 01:29:30,680 --> 01:29:37,680 ♪ of loves? ♪ 759 01:29:41,720 --> 01:29:48,720 ♪ uh ♪